Reaction Shot
by Vheeri The Succubus
Summary: Normally, seeing work dedicated to one's existence was flattery. In their case, it was horror. Ichigo as well as many others discover the existence of fanfiction.
1. Ichigo x Rukia

A/N: this is more of a response to all the Romance that's been plaguing the Bleach section. Honestly, it's like each category has its own disease.

One Piece: Mary Sues

Kingdom Hearts: AkuRoku and Zemyx (seriously they barely know each other)

Bleach: Romance

Anyway, this is more or less my way of making fun of it. Enjoy, _but I must warn you_, there's gonna be a lot of couple bashing in here. If I mention anyone's name or story, it's by pure coincidence because I made everything up. And as I'm writing this note, I've decided to break everything up into chapters depending on the couple. And it won't be complete until Bleach comes to a close or until the next Arc brings me great disappointment.

Disclaimer: Why the hell would I own Bleach if I'm posting this on a site dedicated to FAN fiction?

Reaction Shot

Chapter 1: Ichigo and Rukia

Ichigo sat in his room, casually browsing the web on his brand new laptop. His father had bought it for him shortly after he lost his Shinigami powers, and it really did help with passing the time. Though, he was beginning to get bored. The internet was a huge place after all, so maybe he could find something to pique his interest. The ads on the side of the page were little of no importance; however one of them appeared to be in English. Ichigo hadn't been in school long enough to really grasp they're language, but he still knew enough to get by.

He clicked on the link, and was brought to a search engine. It was no different from the Japanese one he used, but it still interested him with all the pictures of celebrities and people of interest. In the search box, he quickly typed his own name, but paused when another name popped up next to his in the suggestion box.

Ichigo and Rukia? Just how did anyone know about them?

The screen flickered and a large number of results popped up. Ichigo became nervous when he clicked on a random link and waited for it to load. There were nothing but English words on the screen, but he could still read it.

"Bleach? What's that supposed to mean, and…fan...fiction?"

He apparently landed on some sort of 'Community' dedicated to true love and straight romance. The list of stories apparently dedicated to him and his friend sent his mind into a spiral of confusion. Too many questions buzzed through his head as he stared blankly at the screen. Sensing his brain going into overload, he rushed out the room and into the bathroom.

A few cold splashes of water to the face brought him back to reality. The fact wet face stared blankly at him in the mirror was proof enough that he wasn't completely insane. However, what he saw couldn't have been real. It took a few minutes of staring and blinking before he could return back to the rather disturbing sight left on his computer screen. And of course, it was still there.

Ichigo unconsciously held his breath as he began reading one of the summaries provided by a random story apparently named 'Just a Girl'.

_Rukia may have been a Shinigami, but she was still just s young girl looking for love. When she met Ichigo for the first time, she new it had to be love! _

The orange haired boy's eye twitched as a blush steadily rose on his face. Moving along, he decided to look at another. Why, he had no clue. Perhaps it was morbid curiosity.

A few keystrokes later, Ichigo found another story, 'Court of Souls'. There wasn't a clear summary to go by. All it said was 'i suck at summaries but its really good. Plz read and review'.

Almost immediately, he clicked away. "Ichigo stared into his girlfriend Rukia's beautiful blue eyes" was probably the worst way to start anything off. Her eyes weren't even blue! Slowly but surely, the beginnings of a headache began to form. Maybe he should stop there. It was going to take a toll on his sanity pretty soon. But the strangest urge to read more wouldn't leave him alone. There were many pages to look through, so he skipped ahead and kept looking.

The next story he picked at random was called 'Leaves on Water'. It had a nice title, so maybe it wouldn't be as traumatizing as the last. Though, the name next to it sort of caught his attention. Chocolate Covered Whips? That was strange.

_AU. Ichigo is a bisexual BDSM master who works at a club. A new client named Rukia sparks his interest and they began-_

Ichigo cried out and leapt out of his chair.

That was it. Ichigo couldn't read another word. Just what the hell was up with these people? Maybe he was having a nightmare. Any second now the room would collapse and he'd end up falling to the point of waking up. That had to be it.

"Big brother!" Yuzu's panicked voice called from the other side of his door as she knocked. "Is something wrong? I heard you cry out!"

Ichigo stayed silent as he stood in a defensive position in front of his laptop. His face dead set in a confused scowl.

"Big brother?" Yuzu said again as she entered the room. Seeing him in his position, she looked from the laptop and back to Ichigo. "What's wrong?"

Like a robot, Ichigo turned his head to the side and lowered his stance.

"Yuzu. Am I in a dream?" he asked stiffly.

She gave her brother a long, concerned look.

"No. Why would you be in one? Hey, your face is all red, did something happen?"

Ichigo, as calmly as possible, closed the tab which contained the fowl website, erased his history, and then shut down his laptop.

"Big-"

"It's nothing. Yuzu. Nothing at all. I'm going to go to bed now."

"But it's only noon."

"I'm going. To bed."

Ichigo's hands clenched and unclenched at his sides. Whatever it was that was bothering her brother, Yuzu figured he could handle it.

"Uh, ok…" she said meekly as she left, shutting the door behind her.

"It's not real. It's a dream. Everything is fake. All this boredom is just getting to you. Maybe in the morning you can find a job. Yea, a good paying job." Ichigo told himself as he undressed and curled into a ball under his covers. If he wasn't dreaming now, he was sure he was going to have nightmares later.

-Meanwhile, in the Soul Society-

Rukia's eyes went as wide as an owl's as she backed against a wall in the 9th Divisions barracks. Hisagi had let her see his laptop since she was so curious about modern technology. In fact, he had been more than happy than to let her have a bit of free time with it after showing her the basics. However, she really wished she hadn't at the moment.

Ichigo and her in love? With children?

The thought itself made her stomach turn and left a beet red blush on her face. It was official; she was going to avoid computers for a long, long time. Maybe a few hundred years would suffice.

Chapter 1: End

A/N: Sooo what did you think? I'm a failure at humor. Really, I don't know how some people manage to like what I have already. Questions, comments, flames, suggestions; I welcome them all.

For future reference, I'll just list all the pairings I plan on doing in the future.

Ulquiorra x Orihime (Oh come on I have to)

Ichigo x Orihime

Hitsugaya X Momo

Byakuya X Rukia

OC X Any Character (may end up as filler, suggestions welcome)

I'm using these because these apparently are the 'star' couples of the Bleach fandom. And it's almost impossible trying to find any story without shoveling my way past 25 romances in a row. There should be a filter out option for normal browsing.


	2. Ulquiorra x Orihime

A/N: Fuck homework, write fanfiction! :D

I know, I'm pathetic. Anyway, if anyone cares (Ha, no one does) I have a small challenge/request thing in my stories. It's called Breathing: Second Chances. Basically it's the kind of story I want to read and I can't find without shuffling through- you guessed it, romance. Or it's just… fail.

I've noticed there's beginning to be a spacing problem, and I apologize if it happens to this fic as well. Even when I edited _Heaven_, the spacing issue was still there.

LOL: Thanks for the tips! I don't see how I skipped over them XD But yeah, I'll defiantly try to make one for each… but I'd have to re-watch those Toshiro meeting Karin episodes, I skipped over them haha

Disclaimer: Think about it… seriously?

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Chapter 2: Ulquiorra X Orihime

How long had it been? It was impossible to tell the time in Hueco Mundo, and the eternal moon that never shifted position didn't help. Orihime had to guess it was a few days at least. Her internal clock was still normal, so she slept when she normally slept, got hungry at the usual times, and had a random burst of energy she would usually reserve for P.E. at school. Right now she was beginning to get that burst, so it must have been close to afternoon time. With nothing to do, she hummed quietly as she looked up to her barred window. A light breeze blew in and she sighed.

Just when she was about to enter her perfectly normal daydream zone, her door opened. Ulquiorra silently stepped through and looked at her, impassive as he always was.

"What is it?" she asked.

"Lord Aizen has decided that it would be best to give you something to entertain yourself so that you will not go completely insane. It would ruin his plans."

"Really?" she said with a bit of disbelief.

Ulquiorra closed his eyes and stepped to the side. A single, lowly Arrancar stepped inside and placed a white laptop on the table in the room. The Arrancar bowed to Ulquiorra, then left.

"This… thing has a power source that will last up to 6 hours. After that, it will be taken away to recharge."

Orihime may have not used computers that often, but she knew enough. The Espada watched her as she started the piece of technology up and began punching in keys. He was curious as to why it made her so happy.

"Why are you smiling, woman?"

She looked up to him and motioned for the Espada to come closer.

"Cause it's fun to use computers. I mean, I don't use them at often, but they're still fun. You can play games, do stuff, and use the internet!"

The human girl's enthusiasm confused Ulquiorra. Not even several hours ago she was moping and crying. Did all trash enjoy indulging themselves in staring at a screen?

Ulquiorra continued to watch as she opened up something called the internet and began pointing to pictures of other humans or whatever she found popular. The whole concept made no sense and it was slightly irritating.

"I will return in 3 hours."

Orihime pouted a little when he left the room without another word. It wasn't often she really got to talk to anyone, and even though he could be cruel, he was still company. Regardless, she returned to browsing normally. There was so much she could do now. She could even try to contact her friends! Then again, Orihime didn't want them to get hurt, but she knew they'd try and rescue her regardless. She could wait, especially if she could have a computer for a while.

"Hmm, what to do now? Maybe a search can help me find something."

Giggling, Orihime began searching for 'things to do when bored'. So far, there had been nothing listed she could do in her situation. Then, a certain result caught her eye.

"When I am bored," she began as she read the blog post aloud. "I like to read Bleachy fanfiction. The stories are just so cute and fun to read!"

Orihime had never heard of fanfiction before, so she decided to try it out. From the site, she was linked to some page in English. It wasn't as though she couldn't read it, it just caught her off guard for a moment. For some reason, English had been the easiest class in school.

On the page, a search bar caught her attention. Perhaps she could find something with her name in it, then she could pretend it was really her! Another giggle past her lips as she typed in her full name and hit enter. Much to her surprise, there were so many with her name as well as the names of her friends.

"Woah, even Aizen!" she exclaimed.

There were so many to choose from. The question of just how people knew about her didn't cross her mind as she decided to filter some of the results out.

"Ulquiorra's on here too? Amazing. Though, there seems to be more romance than anything." Orihime giggled. It was a bit cute.

After minimizing things down to less than a hundred results, she began to read through them. It would be easier just to pick the first one, so she did. Something called _The Princess and The Servant_. It sounded just like a fairy tale, so she decided to read it.

Throughout the rather lengthy story, Orihime couldn't help but to go into fits of laughter. It was too hilarious. Ulquiorra had apparently fallen in love with her and they wanted to escape, but Aizen- the evil King, wouldn't allow it. Orihime nearly fell out of her chair as she held her stomach and slapped her palm on the table.

When she finally finished, her eyes were red and she sniffed.

"I wonder how Ulquiorra or Aizen would react if they read it. It's so-so funny!" she said loudly to herself.

Seeing as how the story was done, she decided to move on to another. Maybe it would be funny as well. The next one was much shorter, and barely took up two pages. _Ashes in the Wind _seemed to be a promising title, so Orihime clicked it.

It was a bit sad, and if she hadn't read the previous story, she would have cried. Ulquiorra had died in her arms after a dramatic fight with Ichigo and professed his undying love for her. Still, him being in love with her was silly, but it was still sad since he died in such a way. Whoever wrote these fanfictions sure were creative.

Time flew by without her even noticing, and Ulquiorra entered once again. The same Arrancar from earlier pushed a trolley of her lunch in, and Orihime gasped as she looked up.

"Oh, Ulquiorra! Are you going to stay while I eat this time?" she asked excitedly.

He noticed the twinkle in her eyes and became curious again. Had she been crying? After all, he did leave her while she was in a jovial state, perhaps the computer had done something while he was absent.

"Yes, I am." He responded dully.

"Oh, good! I want you to hear this story I just read. It's a fanfiction, and someone wrote about you and me!"

When the Arrancar left, she began to eat her simple meal of soup and bread. She was careful not to spill anything on the keyboard as she dipped a piece of the French bread into the soup and took a bite. After a sip of water, she began the short and strange love story of _Candy Addiction_.

Ulquiorra's passive face began to form a grimace as she read each word of the offending story. He didn't like sweets in the slightest, and he especially wouldn't have liked them if trash fed it to him. If that's what humans considered entertainment, then the whole universe was made of trash and his whole respect for Aizen had surely dropped a few levels as he was the one responsible for giving the thing to the prisoner. By the time the story was over, Orihime's lunch was finished, and he resisted using a cero on the small computer.

"Woman, never-ever…. Read me such…. Offending material. It's trash. You are trash, and that computer is a piece of the lowest trash."

Orihime squeaked as the metal of the trolley bent under Ulquiorra's strong grip. Wheeling it away, he left her to scratch her head and continue her fanfiction experience.

"Oh well. I guess he wouldn't like it since he doesn't really like anything… but it's still funny!"

With renewed vigor, she continued to read story after story, laughing all the way.

Chapter 2: End

A/N: I can seriously picture her laughing at the whole thing. Maybe I should add Orihime x Ichigo later on. Since in canon, and one sided, I'm not sure though. It would be like her admitting her feelings up close and personal. Ya know, with him awake. If the anime or manga makes it happen, I might do it. Next up… I don't know.

Suggestions, flames, and C.C. welcome!

Lmao, I'm 35 min late for class.

Fluttershy: Yay.


	3. Byakuya x Rukia

Chapter 3: Byakuya x Rukia

From that rather disturbing day, Rukia had sworn up and down she would never bother with laptops or technology of the sort for a few hundred years. How she wound up back in front of a glaring computer screen she had no clue. Well, she did have a clue. She knew full well why she was there, but it was still too much at the moment. Apparently Hisagi had decided to be nosy that day and check his web history. By doing so, he had come across the embarrassing fanfictions she managed to find.

And being the considerate man he was, note the sarcasm, he decided to show Renji. Renji, who wanted to know everything that was 'new' and 'hip' with the world decided to get a computer of his own and see what the fuss was about. Hisagi had kindly offered to let him use his laptop, but Renji believed it was 'un-manly' and ended up buying an old looking Windows 98.

"It's big and manly." He said when lugging a huge box into his division's barracks.

After hours of Hisagi trying to teach him the bare basics of computers, he finally managed to get some internet service. And that hadn't been the end of it, oh no- not by a long shot. Her elder brother had caught wind of this and wanted to know what all this fuss was about. Which somehow led to Byakuya getting a top of the line desktop computer with a sleek, flat screened monitor and the nicest of accessories. Because he was extremely rich.

Now, Rukia sat next to her brother, in his home office, while trying to set the blasted computer on fire with her eyes. There should be a Kido with that ability.

"Now, Rukia, I wish to know what it is that Abarai has been obsessing over for the last few days." Byakuya asked calmly as he managed to open the internet. His grip on the mouse was shaky, yet he tried his best to mask it. Rukia would have found it a bit endearing, but the feeling of overwhelming doom had consumed her very soul.

"I… discovered a website dedicated to the publishing of stories called Fanfiction. Renji had gotten interested in it and I assume has been using it ever since he got a computer."

Yes, she would surely murder the pineapple head later.

Byakuya was silent for a full minute without moving.

"Is there something wrong?"

In truth, the Captain didn't have a single clue as to get to the site and refused to admit it. He had to keep his pride after all. Letting go of the mouse, he placed both hands in his lap and closed his eyes.

"Direct me to this site, Rukia."

Nervously, Rukia did as she was told. With every keystroke, she found herself wishing a bolt of lightning would strike her down. Hopefully he wouldn't pry too much into the site and would leave it alone. Hopefully.

The familiar blue and white layout appeared in nearly an instant and Byakuya opened his eyes to read the English writing. That was something he was capable of at least.

"Eh, you see, you can browse for stories based off of stories or people done by other people here. And, well, all the stories are written by the fans of it."

"I see. What is it that you read, Rukia."

A blush began to develop on her face.

"I-uh. I found stories based on me."

Once again Byakuya was silent before speaking.

"Were there any based upon myself?"

Fresh waves of dread crept over Rukia's skin.

"I may have seen your name, yes-"

"I wish to see them."

Rukia screamed in anguish inside her head but complied nevertheless. In the search bar, she typed in her brother's full name and cringed when the first result happened to be romance. Her eyes went as wide as a saucer however when she read the description.

_Rukia looks so much like her sister, Hisana. Byakuya can't help but to fall for her, and decides to make love to her under the full moon._

Bile had made its way up her throat and she excused herself while getting up. She had to find a bathroom and fast. The story had managed to catch Byakuya's eye as well and his eye twitched. Spiritual pressure leaked from his being as he glared impassively, a feat only he could accomplish, at the accursed monitor.

With an almost un-seeable movement, Senbonzakura was in his hand.

"Scatter, Senbonzakura."

From the bathroom, Rukia felt the tremors in the air and shuddered. She wasn't sure who to kill first. Hisagi for showing Renji, Renji for getting her brother involved, or hunting down the wretched author who dare wrote such a thing.

Chapter 3: End

A/N: Woot! Done! Thank you everyone for your kind reviews. I do love me some reviews.

If anyone knows the game, Bleach: Shattered Blade, there are these funny clips in English of the characters VA's saying Sega in a different way as well as talking about the game, all while in character. It's hilarious. I wish Ulquiorra's wasn't such a rush job. I mean, he didn't have an official English VA at the time I believe so they used some other guy. Anyway, Byakuya apparently gets Bleach SB from Renji who didn't know how to play it or something like that. Just look up the game on youtube, the user who adds the funny clips is called YuuGiJoou.

Review it. Flame it. Eat it. Whatever.

And remember, if I mention a story similar to yours it's completely by chance. Same goes for usernames.

Next up: Pssh, I don't frickin' know.


	4. Shunsui x Jushiro

A/N: This story was inspired for my sudden hatred and love of the Bleach fandom. Recently, I was just browsing around when I wanted to read a good Ichigo centric story… and wouldn't you know it. Romance. Ichigo x Orihime, Grimmjow, Hichigo, Apacci, Aizen, Hanataro, Kenpachi, OH GOD MAKE IT STOP!

Seriously. I decided to just pair Ichigo and Orihime up with random people, and there were whole pages of NOTHING but romance. I cried that night. But then, a savior came along, and I ended up crying tears of fangirlish joy.

The Espada's Masquerade by Pago

I've only got to chapter 10, but it is beautiful. Go read it. Now that I think about it, this was supposed to be a bunch of one shots, but now it's turned into a series of sorts… I fail so much at continuity. Oh hey I spelled that right on my first try!

Now, for this long note, I give you a short chapter.

Chapter 4: Shunsui x Jushiro

Computers and technology had become the sudden craze within the Seretei. Shunsui Kyōraku had become most interested when he overheard Renji moaning about his love life with Rangiku. At first he congratulated the man for his accomplishment, but was surprised when he was told it was not real.

Fanfiction, Renji called it. The man had been drunk off his behind when he tried to explain the basics, so all the Captain could really get from him was computers, internet, and deranged psychopaths knowing too much about him and spreading too many lies.

It peaked his interest enough, so he managed to get Hisagi to let him borrow his laptop for the day. Of course the man hadn't really approved, but a bit of blackmail shut him up. Trying to out drink Shunsui was only a fools dream. And those who tried usually ended up doing things they never remembered.

So there he was, sitting under the shade of a tree with the laptop placed on top of his crossed legs. And there he was, completely clueless as to how to work the thing. A certain Lieutenant's presence alerted him and he put on his usual, friendly grin.

"Ah, my lovely Nanao, just in time."

The dark haired woman raised an eyebrow and adjusted her glasses.

"What is it?"

Shunsui pointed to the laptop.

"This. I want to get on to that thing called the internet but I don't know how!"

The laptop was turned off, leading the female to sigh. Though her Captain should have been doing work, she supposed he could at least learn how to do something that didn't involve drinking or harassing her.

After sitting next to the man, Nanao placed the small computer on top of her knees and proceeded to power it on. Shunsui watched in wonder as the graphics flittered around the screen. Within a matter of moments she had logged onto a Guest account and brought up the much desired internet.

"Say, how'd you learn how to do all that?" he asked. True, his Lieutenant read a lot, but he didn't think computers were a subject she'd be too interested in.

"The Seireitei Communication and Women's Association uses them all the time."

"Ah, I see. Oh Nanao you're so smart and beautiful!"

Nanao ignored that comment and focused back to the computer.

"What is it you wanted to use the internet for?"

"Right! You see, Renji mentioned this thing called fanfiction. It's some sort of a gift and a curse. I wanted to check it out."

Without taking her eyes off the screen, Nanao navigated her way to the search feature and managed to find some information on the subject. There was a site, in English, that was apparently dedicated to it. Seeing that it was the best result, she clicked on it and read around.

"What's this?" Shunsui looked at the screen in confusion. Apparently Japanese was his native and only language.

"It's in the English language. I can translate it." Nanao said while reading through the main page.

"This is the main page to the site. These are just updates to the website apparently. There seems to be categories as to what you would like to look at as well."

"Hmm. Renji didn't mention all that. He just said there were these stories of him and Rangiku. Pretty crazy right?"

"Eh? This is an odd site."

Shunsui looked up happily at his best friend as he walked towards the two under the tree.

"Hey there! Lovely Nanao here was showing me this site. She's smart isn't she?"

Jushiro chuckled lightly and joined them on the ground, on Nanao's left side.

"So what is this site all about?"

"Fanfiction sir. Based off of what I see here, it is apparently work published by others based off of other fiction. Hence the name. However, Renji has claimed there are stories of himself here, therefore implying there are others who think we are not real."

"That's interesting. Say Shunsui, you think there are any of us?"

"I don't doubt it. Nanao, do you think you can find anything?"

She made a sound of confirmation and located the search feature. Since the two Captains wanted to know, she types in both of their first names and waited for results. Much to her surprise, there were quite a few. She read through them and paled.

Concerned, Shunsui placed a hand on her shoulder.

"Hey, are you ok? What's wrong?"

She was silent for a few moments. The shock of what she just read made her brain a bit fuzzy and her face warm. True, the two men were close, but not _that_ close. And she was positive her Captain was straight. There was no way he'd think of doing… _that_.

"Nanao?"

The woman jumped from her thoughts and looked over to Shunsui. He was looking into her eyes with a look she only saw on a battlefield. Unable to speak, her mouth opened slightly and closed.

"What happened? What did you read?" Jushiro asked and she jumped again.

"M-my apologies."

"Could you tell us what happened?"

Looking back to her Captain, she nervously nodded.

"Yes… It seems as though there are stories of you both. Only… I don't think I should read them aloud. They are highly inappropriate and I do believe are utter nonsense."

Both men looked to each other then back to the screen. Whatever it was, it shook the poor woman up. Neither wanted to cause her any more pain, but their curiosity was getting the better of them.

"Please," Jushiro leaned over so his face was only inches away from hers. "I know this is bothering you, but you must tell us what's here. We could help you if we knew what it was."

A few seconds later, Nanao took a deep breath and began reading one of the summaries.

"Nanao Ise is tired of her taichou looking so down, so she arranges a date for him with Ukitake. The two men get drunk together, and have a night that leads from them being best friends to," she coughed into a balled fist and finished the last part more quietly. "Lovers."

Nobody spoke for a full few minutes after that. Jushiro broke the silence by coughing into his hands. Blood flowed from in between his fingers and he fell over onto his side. Shunsui looked paler than usual and thought he was going to become sick like his white haired friend. Nanao instantly grabbed the Thirteenth squad Captain by his shoulders and called for help. His two third seats, who had followed him there, were by his side within seconds.

None of the witnesses to that monstrosity known as 'fanfiction' mentioned that day again.

Chapter 4: End

A/N: This was a really hard chapter for me to write. I hope it came out ok, though I really don't like it. I mean seriously, everything seemed so much cooler in my head!

Let me know people!


	5. Soi Fon x Yoruichi

A/N: I was originally going to do Mayuri x Nemu, but decided to do this instead. But if you want to read it let me kno- of course you don't!

Oh yeah, and the reason I spell her name that way is because the 'official' spelling looks stupid.

Chapter 5: Soi Fon x Yoruichi

Despite the time, the Second Division Captain refused to rest. She had paperwork to do, reports to read, and still had to oversee how one of her recon forces doing. And it stressed her out to no end.

During her training, forgoing sleep was mandatory. She could stay awake for two weeks if need be, but that didn't mean it didn't irritate her. It was a Friday night, or Saturday morning, which in itself was a relief.

Saturday was the one day she ordered members of her most loyal mobile corps to get information on her dearest Lady Yoruichi. If they were unable to obtain any, they got a gift that would equally satisfy her. None of them questioned it, nor did they give out any details to the other members. It was a routine that was a silent as they were.

Speaking of silent, a black clad male appeared in a kneeling position at the front of the Captain's desk.

"Captain Soi Fon." He greeted as firmly as possible.

She looked from the paper she just finished signing and nodded.

"Speak."

"We were unable to obtain any new information on _her_. However, we have managed to get this."

The man handed Soi Fon a few slips of paper that appeared to be typed up. The words were in English, which wasn't a problem for Soi Fon to read, yet it did keep away any prying eyes.

"What is… this?"

"It is called a fanfiction. It has been gaining popularity here in the Soul Society; we have gathered it was originally from the world of the living."

Soi Fon nodded once again.

"Dismissed." She commanded.

"Yes sir!"

With that, the man was gone leaving the Captain to read over the paper. At the very top was a detailed report on the basics of fanfiction and where this specific 'story' came from. Including the author's location and physical description. After a quick flip through, a picture of the author was given along with a basic biography.

The story was titled _Black Neko, Yellow Wasp _which instantly caught Soi Fon's attention. A summary was provided also.

_Soi Fon lives in an abusive house and runs away and finds herself at a famous strip club. She joins and the clubs owner Yoruichi takes a liking to her. Contains BDSM, AU, Yuri, OCs, Death_

Soi Fon couldn't help but to raise an eyebrow at what she just read. She didn't live in an abusive household at all. Then again it wasn't supposed to be completely real. 'Yoruichi' and 'liking' were the only two words that truly caught her eye. When she finally finished work, she'd read it where no-one could disturb her.

Sitting on her futon, Soi Fon had read and re-read the story three times. It was, so... amazing! When she returned, she would send out an order for her faithful troops to retrieve more of this fanfiction. She was also rather tempted to visit the author himself but decided against it. Best to send someone else.

A small blush formed on her face as she glanced at a certain segment of the page she was holding. For some reason it did seem in Lady Yoruichi's character to use a whip like that. And she wanted her over that stupid Urahara!

The blush deepened as she smiled and looked over to the location of her well hidden Yoruichi shrine. She was defiantly going to add this piece to her collection.

(Meanwhile, miles and miles away)

Urahara was on his side in hysterics. Yoruichi would have been on the floor too had it not been for the cup of sake in her hand. And she was far from drunk. But the little story the ex Captains forced Tessai to read did make great entertainment while drinking. Whoever wrote the thing was either an absolute genius or lunatic. Sort of like her blonde companion trying to breathe on the ground. How the author knew what her favorite kind of underwear was she had no clue.

Then again owning a strip club wouldn't be too bad. _The Kitten's Hub _wasn't that bad of a name either…

"Ahahaha! Ha! I can't believe you just read that aloud Tessai!" Urahara laughed from the ground.

This lead Yoruichi to nearly spit her drink on the computer and Tessai only a few feet away. Coughing, she ended up laughing harder as well.

Chapter 5: End

A/N: Sooo how was it? Review and lemmie know! Also, check out the poll on my page! It would help if ya participated.

Oh, and the Authors info would have been real like info and not the FF bio here.

Until next time!


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